Negativity, negativity, negativity
The study abroad adjustment curve does not seem to be working this time. One is said to start super-excited, reach the lowest point in a few weeks and then go up from there. Well, not me. For some obscure reason, I’ve started pretty low, skipping the first few weeks of excitement. I’ve been trying to keep things in perspective. Yet, no matter how hard I try, I cannot see much light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sure I’ll be the upbeat and optimistic Rene in no time. But until then: negativity, negativity, negativity. Ay! What happened?
First, at the beginning, there was…Quatar Airways. 90 minutes before my flight to Japan, I was told I couldn’t leave without a return ticket – but hello, I’m in Japan for a year, without any idea of when I might be returning. They didn’t care. So, in 10 minutes I went on a crazy splurge and bought a trip back to Europe over Christmas. Did I wanna go back for Christmas? Probably not. Did I wanna be forced to decide whether I wanna go back over Christmas? Definitely not!
Then, I was told that I couldn’t carry but one piece of luggage at 20 kg. What?!? Yes. Allegedly, if you’re traveling “across the ocean” your luggage allowance is 2 pieces at 23 kg each. Yet, if you’re flying “across the land” (no matter how big the “across the land is” you can only bring a little baggie. So now, I surely have to go back over Christmas. Especially, since I have no winter clothes.
Second, jet lag has been hitting me hard. I wake up either at 3 AM or 3 PM. Not sure which is worse. I don’t understand! Everybody in the program seems to be doing ok. But me? I get to experience the changing of the shifts at the local 7/11. Great!
Third, jet-lagged-wrecked and with no will to perform, I failed the placement test. Now I’m stuck in a class practicing hiragana with Itikawa-sensei. I’ve been begging other teachers to let me move up to a different class. But here in Japan: rules are rules. And there’s no way around it. Tomorrow, I’m planning on holding a strike. Hopefully, that’ll work out. If not – I’ll at least know hiragana really well (and will have enough time to skype with all the lost, and regained, kindergarten friends).
Last, I’m definitely running into major communication issues with Japanese people. When in Tokyo last summer, I never truly interacted with real Japanese for longer than a few hours. Here in Osaka, I have a Japanese roommate. There’s no linguistic barrier, yet there seems to stand pretty big cultural differences between Takaki and I, mostly due to the absence of any form of direct communication. Everything is perhaps, maybe or somehow – if at all. I’ve noticed that the same applies for everyone that I encounter. “I’m maybe 18 years old.” “My name is maybe Suzuki.” “Perhaps, I’m Japanese.” What!?! You’re either 18 – or some other age. Your name is either Suzuki or something else. YOU DEFINITELY ARE JAPANESE! I always thought that it was the others who faced problems with cultural diversity – not me. To be honest, I never really paid attention to any of the Light Fellowship “diversity talks.” (Sorry, Kelly. Sorry, Erica). But I should have. Now, I find myself getting frustrated at something I should not be. Hopefully, I’ll soon learn, at least, not to mind the perhaps-maybe-not-sure mentality. Until then, however…my name is maybe Rene; I’m maybe 22 years old. And I’m maybe a foreigner. Not sure though.
3 comments:
oh rene, i'm having kind of a hard time in korea, too--though not nearly to your extent. mine just has to do with not being able to communicate with family and jetlag. you have it much tougher. now i'm nervously awaiting the arrival of my roommate at my catholic school dormitory. for the first time in my life i'm in danger of "demerits" for things like being on the other side of the dormitory after 1am and improper garbage disposal. also, on every floor except the 1st and 2nd there is a sign that says "no male allowed" in red serif font. i wish you were here so we could laugh together about it...then quickly part ways as the stern, slightly-OCD dean of female dormitory turns the corner of the hallway.
Hey, Rene: Just a few thoughts. You had a very rough start, so it makes perfect sense that the Honeymoon Phase went right out the window. But you're right - you'll be back up in a while. Also, you are already having a much more challenging experience just by getting you out of those crazy apartments in Tokyo. That's a good thing ... a GREAT thing! The key take away from the "diversity talk" is simply to try first and foremost to try understand your roommate's perspective as you live in HIS country, which is setup to make sense to him and not necessarily to you. Or he's setup to understand his own country, and you're working on it.
This does NOT mean throwing the essential Rene to the wolves. This is, rather, a fact-gathering, understanding mode that will empower you to impact your experience successfully.
Kelly: thank you very much for your comment. You're absolutely right. I'm learning to catch up with a lot of discoveries that I should have made last summer. I'm learning not to play music (cause the Japanese hate it). I'm learning not to use the same serviette for drying up dishes and wiping dust. I'm learning to fold my futon THE RIGHT WAY. But I guess it all takes time...
Hee-Sun: "no male allowed" wait. Does that mean I can't visit? Hmm...But no worries, you might get a Saturday detention for improper garbage disposal, I'd get deported. I've never gotten so nervous as when judged by the old lady in the house nextdoor for not using the proper trash-bag color for my Tuesday-8:33-pet-bottle-pick-up. Oh, Japan.
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